September 2013, yang ke-13

Aku mula dengan Alhamdulillah. Syukur aku pada Tuhan. Adanya Engkau sebagai tempat untuk aku mengadu dan bercetera tentang kisahku.

Aku

Aku menari di dalam hati, tanpa irama dan rentak tari.

Aku menyanyi di dalam hati, tanpa suara dan nada melodi .

Aku tertawa di dalam hati, tanpa gemersik hati yang terusik.

Aku menangis di dalam hati, tanpa sendu yang tak tertahan.

Aku menangis di pangkal dada, tanpa air mata yang berjuraian.

Aku terkaku di anak mata, melihat tubir yang mula dibanjiri.

Aku tersedar ke alam fana, apabila jari jemariku pantas menyeka.

Aku terdiam bisu, tatkala nafasku terasa sesak di kalbuku.

Aku rapatkan pintu hatiku, agar resah ini tidak terus melara jiwa.

Aku catit perasaan ini, sebagai ingatan untuk hatiku.

Kau

Kau jangan lupakan Dia. Seperti sebelum ini, seperti sebelum  sekarang,

Tatkala kau menari, menyanyi, tertawa riang, di bibir, di mata, di jasadmu.

Kau lupa.

Kau milik Dia. Jasad kau hanya pinjaman yang akan kau pulangkan

esok atau sebentar lagi.

Makanya, jangan biar hati kau terus terlupa dan tersiksa

sampai akhirnya ia mati merana.

eyes?

Eyes are the window to a person's heart.

Yeah right.

But guess what?

I think perhaps it might.

Eyes are never that colorful before.

Eyes are not as beautiful as that before.

but, perhaps I never see such eyes before.

These eyes seems alright, even perfect.

It could be that I'd found the right eyes, 

yeah, I think I had.

What a Life

Noises are flooding my head,

Endless thoughts haunting every pore of my being,

Solace is a state that seems foreign to my ear,

Even hearing the sweetest sound makes me restless,

My inner self denies any effort of having things to go right,

I felt suffocated, trapped, breathless.

I wanted quiet, not a madhouse.

I wanted a time for my own, not these.

I wanted a lot of other things that seems impossible to get, especially now.

A little bit of privacy even cost a lot these days.

A little bit of respect being thrown away at me? Impossible as hell.

What else?

What do you want? Go away.

These people just cannot mind their own silly little business.

They just have to butt in and be nosy where they shouldn’t.

I asked not too much. Just a little bit privacy,

  and my own me time where I’m not going to be guilty about.

I’m not used to using crude words. And I don’t plan to.

But right now, a few comes to mind,

  and somehow so persistently bugging me to say them out loud.

Dang it! I felt guilty feeling this way.

Sheesh.  In the end, that’s just it.

My wrath could only be surfaced in this virtual paper.

It’s so short, it should seem fake.

I feel so miserable I could not afford to care.

What a life.