Pebbles

Our story is not full of epic sh*t
Our story is mundane
Typical
Tiny
There's no bomb
or Typhoon
but just tiny pebbles.

Our pebbles are small
insignificant.

However
Our story has a pouch
where all the tiny pebbles are kept
bit by bit
consistently
everyday.

Our pouch
occasionally will become
too full
until it feels so heavy
it tires us out
heart and soul.

There are times
very rare occasions
but still happened
Our pouch was too full
it burst
spitting pebbles everywhere
obliterating everything
in their paths.

All of us have been given our individual pouches
from the very beginning
We don't have a say in this
and we don't realize
how it will turn out to be a burden someday
we were young and naive
so we treated the pouch as a part of us.

Now, we are stuck with it
We know it tires us out
but living without it
makes us vulnerable
We have fallen victim to a scam
called comfort zone
We can throw the pouch
but we wouldn't.

We are grateful
our story are only full of tiny pebbles
not a typhoon
or a bomb
as the impact when the pouch burst
would not be too catastrophic.

At least we are able to pick up the pieces
of the shattered pouch
sew it back
and fill it in with more



pebbles.

Sang Purnama

Dia menangis setiap pagi
Terkenang-kenang
Wajah suci
Yang kini terbit dalam mimpi
Di kala malam sunyi.

Dia merana di pangkal dada
Teringat-ingat
Wajah sengsara
Yang terbiar merana hidupnya
Tapi terlalu jauh untuk digapai
Untuk diseka air matanya.

Dan aku
Dalam keangkuhanku
Terus-menerus
Bermasam muka
Menunding jari
Dan berlalu pergi.

Nanti
Akan tiba saat
Untukku
Terkenang-kenang
Teringat-ingat.
Tapi alangkah malangnya
Apa yang tinggal
hanyalah jasad.

The forgetful one

I apologize
as I am always
The forgetful one.

The infinite love
The endless sacrifices
The act of forgiving
time and time again
The countless guidance
and care
The patience, everything,
That I have taken for granted,

I apologize, deeply.

It's so easy to forget
as it is so easy to regret

So I apologize
again,
with a heavy heart
that knows

A forgetful one will forget.

Questions

Sometimes people inquired

Not because they are curious
Or because they care
Or because they want to lend a hand
Or because they want to listen and
 to understand

It could be that
They just want to justify their own guilt
"At least I asked"
"At least I hear you out"
"At least I did my part"
"At least you can't blame me for not being there"

Sometimes people inquired
And their inquiries were answered
But the questions still remained.

Serenity

Like a cup of
Pleasantly warm
Green tea
that I currently sipped
bit by bit

The warmness seeped
 into the darkess and coldest
abyss
inside my being
spreading warmness
like rain after a long drought
blooming flowers of all shapes and colours
Everywhere

Another sip is like molten honey
that washed away any web
of bitterness
which has accumulated
like tumour
for the past eternity

Now the last sip
is slightly tepid
but still pleasant
Like a symphony that's about
 to end
Leaving behind a lingering
Sweetness
that shall be missed

Serene, pleasant-- that is you.

Hero

Dulu kau superhero
Yang terbang gah dimata
Buat aku yg kerdil 
teruja
terpaku.

Aku mahu jadi seperti kau.
Seorang superhero.

Tapi
Sampai satu detik
Aku tak lagi sekerdil dulu
Dan melihat kau
Superhero ku
Entah kenapa
Terbangan kau seolah
Tak setinggi dulu

Dan kini aku 
Mula memahami
Kau adalah manusia
Yang aku angkatkan menjadi
Superhero
Gelaran yang tak pernah kau minta
Gelaran yang tak kau tahu
Wujud di hati ku.

Kau superhero zaman kerdilku
Kini kau tidak lagi terbang
Di mataku di hatiku
Dan aku cuma mampu katakan
Terima kasih
Untuk memori yang indah.

I'm trying

Hard

To surpress the inner fire.

It's not pretty

No

But it's there.

Unwanted

But it's there.

Spreading wild

Burning every inches

Of life essence

But it's there 

But it's there

But it's there

I'm trying hard 

I do.

hilang

kabus ini mengaburi mata 
hatiku
lesu menanti bayu janji manis
yang datangnya
entah bila
kelam malam yang pekat 
menyekat perjalananku menuju
esok
yang bahagia itu
masih bukan dalam genggaman
hujan harapan menyapa halus
tapi naik surutnya alangkah rakus
jauhari kini bingung 
manikam nya
hilang
entah kemana
manikam nya
entah siapa.

It's a simple decision after all

When we talk about the little prince and his rose,
I kinda think to myself;

"I'm more of the little prince,
and you are more of the rose"

Considering how I found your feelings overbearing last time.
(and the lack of appreciation for them)

It's like when I have nothing, and suddenly,
I am being given Everything.
It's more than a handful,
and  I haven't had a clue what to do with them!

Slowly, when I walk through this journey of life,
I learnt, I look back and I realized
instead of being scared and letting them out of my hand,
I should have embraced them. 
Making them into a warm and fuzzy blanket
which I can wrap around myself  when it's cold and raining outside
and as a nice companion picnic mat when it's sunny.

To the little prince, the rose is not like any other rose. 
The rose is his.
Maybe when he's there close to the rose he couldn't understand her value.
Only when they are apart then he knows.

and the prince used to be too scared to let himself be tamed.
because he risks of shedding a few tears (maybe more) 
when he allows himself to be tamed.
and to be seen crying, is always embarrassing to the prince.
Because actually he cried easily. He has a soft heart. 
So he fears people might assume and misunderstood those tears as being weak.

Now, the prince understand. He doesn't want to end up like the common roses.
Beautiful, but empty.
Any passerby would stop for a while and appreciate their beauty
and that's it. They would soon to be forgotten.

Thus, the prince decided to let himself be tamed, by his rose.
(and also decide shedding a few tears is not weak, as they are proof of his compassion for his rose.)
Now, the prince is his rose's responsibility, and the rose is his.
so the prince is no longer a common prince and the rose is no longer a common rose.

It's a simple decision actually (to allow yourself be tamed) but it's very hard to attain.
As this decision always get hidden by the fog of pride, fear and ego.
This fog is thick and cruel. They will always come towards you and blur your vision.
But, once one is able to blow away the fog, one can see easily.
It is a simple decision after all.